On Quitting my job

I feel as though I should clear some stuff up.

I have a pretty great job. I get to spend my days with two hilarious, smart, and really sweet, loving kids. They are wonderful. As are their families, my employers. I work for people who really care about me and my well-being, who want me to succeed, and who treat me with respect. It is pretty awesome.

The problem is that I don't want to work in childcare. At all. This was always meant to be a temporary job. One that I would hold while I finished my graduate degree. When the grad degree got put on hold, I fell into working full time. And then it stuck. So a lot of the frustration that I feel towards my working life isn't that I have a terrible job, because I don't. It comes from not being in the field that I know I want to be in.

The other element at play is that my job is hard. It is important to make the distinction here in exactly how my job is hard because it explains a lot about why I get so frustrated/burned out doing it. Taking care of children is, emotionally and physically draining. My job is to LOVE someone's baby (or babies). I care about those kids SO MUCH and from that love comes concern for their safety and comfort, the desire to make them happy, guilt if I don't feel as though I am meeting their needs, etc. etc. It isn't a "show up at 9am and go through the motions" kind of working life that I lead. On the physical-demanding side of it, they each weigh 30 pounds or so and I am pushing, lifting, moving, carrying, or bouncing one or both of them for a large portion of my day. I crawl on the floor. I bend down to their level. I haul a double stroller with two toddlers in it up and down stairs.

All this is to say that my job is exhausting. At the end of the day I am physically tired and emotionally spent. Add to this the stress of school, money, volunteering, not sleeping, applying for jobs, trying to maintain friendships, meeting new people, trying to be an adult and do things like wash my dishes. It is a lot!

And so occasionally I hit the wall. This week was one such occasion. So it isn't so much that "something" happened as it is that "everything kept happening" and I was unable to keep up. I'm okay. Things are okay. I just need a vacation.

Also - you all need to call your moms and tell her you LOVE her and give her a huge thank you. Sometimes, you pooped in the tub. And she cleaned it up. And it was gross. And she STILL LOVES YOU. The woman is a saint.

So there you have it - my bad week, which wasn't really that bad. Thanks again to everyone who was so wonderful and helped me out!

I have lots to update on so expect some fun posts this week!