I canz have blog?

Oh hai.

So I've kinda not posted here in a few MONTHS. And my 30th birthday certainly has come and gone.

Meh. What cha gonna do. I did write a 30x30 wrap-up post, actually, and then just never got around to posting it. Why? I guess I just didn't care about the list anymore.

Let me qualify that a bit. I care a lot about my life and things I do with it and the people in it. I hope that it obvious. And those who have seen me IRL over the past 6 or so months have seen the amazing changes that have taken place. I've connected with people and done some stuff that is pretty damn cool. And really, I was so wrapped up in living it, writing about it didn't seem like a priority.

A quick sum up, for those interested:

• I'm currently working at University of Toronto Press in the Journals division and my job is, by and large, pretty great. I'm working on some very rad projects, organizing events, seeing some interesting progress in the field, and working alongside some very talented people. The commute sucks, but hey, I'll take it. It is a maternity leave so I am good to go until the spring, when job-hunt 2014 will gear up. Stay tuned for that. 
• I've moved in my boyfriend. Crazy, right? In the last 10 months I met, fell in love with, and starting building a life with a whole other human. He is pretty much the best, as those who have met him can attest. Zero complaints on the home front. 

Cue: awwww

• I sure didn't finish all of my goals. Not even close. But I don't see the project as a failure, not even a little. I see the success in how I examined my life, decided where I wanted things to change and how, and then started to do it. I realize now that this is not a process that can encompass one year. Or two, or five, or anything. It needs to be something that is lived on the daily. What I loved the MOST about my list wasn't necessarily checking things off (okay - I really really REALLY liked that part, but it still wasn't my favourite). I loved waking up each morning wondering how I was going to incorporate something new, or work on something. That part was really cool and changed how I lived in the moment-to-moment living of life. And that is the part I want more of now. 

I cut off and donated my hair - 13" to Angel Hair for Kids!

So that, in short, is why are you aren't going to get a sum up of what I finished and what I didn't; it doesn't matter. What matters is the impact the project had on me and how that is going to continue to affect my life. 

Which leads me to my next little tidbit of news: I'm planning a new blog. Not the same as this one, but a continuation of it. The premise? I'm so glad you asked!

I want to take my favourite parts of my 30x30 and expand on them; get more of them coming my way. My favourite parts were:

• Learning/trying new things
• Changing things about my life I didn't like
• Meeting/interacting with new people or people I already knew but more frequently. 

That last point is key. Because this time, I'm turning my projects over to others. Here is the plan:

I will make a list of things/areas in life that I want to explore/improve/try new things in. It will be broad, vague, and open to interpretation. 

Then, I will make a list of people I know (well, not so well, not at all) and send them a proposition: Given your skills and my goals - offer me a challenge. It must be something measurable, obtainable, and within reason, but a challenge. 

I can promise I will try them all. I won't promise to be successful 100% of the time, but if I learned anything this past year - that is just how life works. 

I like this because I feel like it allows me to build on what I started with the 30x30 list. I have a strong foundation regarding where my interests are and what is important to me, as well as a year of experience in knowing what I will and will not do and why. That is pretty great starting point. 

Once the new blog site launches (the goal is January 2014) I will post the link here. If you're interested in being involved somehow, feel free to get in touch. I'm still mulling over all the lists so I'm very open to suggestions. 

That's all from me for awhile! Thanks to all who followed and read and commented and cared - it meant a lot to me. I can't wait to start anew! 

XXOO

The Before Photos

Well, it is happening this weekend, folks! I'm moving. Again. Funny how one of my goals was to turn my apartment into a home, to really settle into it and make roots. What fun!

But, I have a new place that I'm gearing up to settle into. It is an old house that is getting a facelift, so I get to have much more of a hand in how that will look in my unit. I spent last weekend painting with a couple of friends, and I'm on my way back there tomorrow to finish up the details.

I thought since this home-project is going to be starting from scratch, it would be fun for me to share some of the before and afters. I have lots of projects already planned in addition to the painting: light fixtures, cabinet details, some fun textiles that I will do with the help of my mother who is visiting at the end of April, and much more. I will of course do side-by-sides once projects get finished, but until then, have a look at the raw material I am working with!

Bricked up fireplace in my bedroom. Booya

Kitchen

Living Room, with all the kitchen appliances in it. Cool.

Basement, which I have NO idea what I'm going to do with. Ideas?!

So those are the new digs! I will share the half-painted pics with you all later this weekend, and some more once my stuff is moved in. If you follow me on instagram or twitter (@cmacmizzle) you are getting lots of sneak peeks already :) 

That's it for now! I'd love to hear your thoughts/ideas, so comment here or reply on facebook/twitter. I need ideas!!!

Hello again, old friend

Friends, I have no excuses for you. I just plain and simple dropped the blog ball over the past few months. To be honest, it became less of a priority once I had started my internship. I was working not long hours, but hours that required a 5am wake up, which meant that a) I was too tired to go out after work and b) when I did manage to go out, I was WAY too tired to write about it. 

That was how it started and by the time I was integrating social events after work, I was just crashing immediately after getting home. Add to this full weekends of socialization and I just haven’t had the same number of hours to dedicate to the blog.

I’ve got to say though that I have legitimately missed it. I liked the daily/weekly reflection and I am hoping to get back into that routine. Or any routine really. Things have been wonderfully chaotic in the past few weeks, but I am starting to long for my daily/weekly routine again, even if that routine looks differently than it did before. Does that make sense?

So, where am I on the 30x30? Goooooooooood question. And I’m afraid neither you nor I are going to like the honest answer: no real progress. As you saw in my last post, I successfully threw a surprise party for one of my best friends. That same weekend I crossed off another goal: Host and prepare all the food for a dinner party. I had some of my lovely twitter/bookish friends over to try some recipes from Nigellisma, a cookbook provided by Random House Canada for review. It was a completely delightful night, both in terms of company and food. So those were goals I hit home runs on!

Still not started is the rock climbing, mostly because I haven’t had the TIME to make it down there. I know people love to complain about how busy they are, and how even more they like to complain about people who complain about how busy they are, and I promise you I’m not complaining. I have been busy with really amazing things and spending time with people I adore. But there is this sense in the back of my head that I am taking time away from these goals I had set. I am really hoping to regroup soon, but looking at my calendar I’m already scheduling things into April and May. It is awesome but…a little anxiety provoking, to be honest.

I still haven’t started the quilt, but I am (as always) planning on starting the cutting/ironing phase soon after I move. Rock climbing will realistically need to be put off until May, as I want to stick with April’s “From Scratch” goal.

Many of the longer-term goals are still on the radar – the running is starting up again as soon as the winter chill lifts. I am not ashamed to admit that I don’t want to run in the snow/cold, so I’m just going to wait it out and then kill it. Still not drinking, which has turned into something that is kinda of annoying into something that is TOTALLY AWESOME. More to come on that. 

A lot of the crafty stuff is just a pain my side – the photos, letters, and cards are all non-existent. Too bad, but hopefully in the next month I can rekindle that fire.

Overall, while I haven’t been living with my 30 goals as a priority, I have had a life filled with some really great stuff, so I’m not disappointed. Also, and maybe this is the excuse I said I wasn’t going to give you, winter is just not a time of year that really inspires productivity for me. I am more of a “bunker down and wait” winter person, so I am not all that surprised that things got put on hold.

Anyway, I am going to make much more of an effort though. And I have some fun news/stories coming up that I want to share. I am moving soon so I will be RESTARTING the home-making project and you can bet there will be lots of pictures of that endeavor.

#14 - the surprise party

This post is a little late, but here it is all the same.

A good portion of my close friends are turning 30 this year just like me (funny how that works, eh?) so I was a little nervous when I decided I wanted to throw a surprise party for someone. I mean 30 is a biggie and that is a lot of responsibility! So my original plan was to bow out of the 30th birthdays all together and throw a party for someone else who was having a less exciting birthday.

But then the year progressed and one of my best friends got engaged, our friendship continued to grow and evolve, and I realized that I wanted to show her how much I love her, so I dove in to the 30th birthday planning INSANITY.

Truth be told, I couldn't have picked a better person to throw a party for. I know Sarah well enough to know that what she would want in a party is good food and her friends and family all together; Boom - Potluck. I got my bossypants on and told everyone where to go, what to bring, and NOT TO BE LATE and things were pretty much done! Sarah's mom was a huge help with planning and cooking and baking and I loved that her and I got to talk on the reg about how much we loved her daughter.

So Sunday was the big day! Sarah's man-friend was responsible for getting her to the destination (and he did a miraculously good job of taking the "why don't I have a party planned" heat as well) and he preformed admirably. All the guests hid and the lights were out when our birthday girl came in and then...LONG AWKWARD PAUSE...."Surprise!"

Success!

For me the joy of planning a surprise party wasn't in the party itself; I knew that the party would be a success so long as the people she wanted there were present. I found joy in collecting all the people that my friend loved into one place, in spending the weeks leading up to her party thinking about what she would like, how she would react, and how much I friggin adore her. It was the thought behind the party that made it so much fun to plan. I had a moment after she had arrived and everything on my end was "done" where I actually though "Oh - there gets to be a party now!" haha

I also really enjoyed getting to toast my friend on her (almost) 30th birthday. I have known Sarah since we were 15, which means that in turning 30 we are entering a phase of life where we have known one other for longer than we haven't know one another. There is no one I have cried more with, laughed more with, done stupid-ass stuff with than her. She has seen me at my absolute WORST, which makes having her present for this awesome phase of my life all the more special. Without a doubt I would not be the person I am today without having had her friendship, and I am so grateful for her.

So, this was a pretty awesome and meaningful goal for me to cross off. And I love that such a good friend played an integral role in helping me do that.

SURPRISE!

Dinner was delicious - Thanks everyone!

Birthday girl opens some gifts

Wine and chatting - it was a great night!

Next post- The Dinner Party!

XOXO

I know many, MANY young professionals who also maintain blogs and ladies (yeah, you're all ladies) - how do you do it? Between working full time hours, volunteer commitments, part time job, and having a social life, I have had NO time for my dear little blog as of late. So sad! I like it here so much.

Anyway, this is mostly the update to tell you that the real update is coming. This weekend was incredibly productive, not to mention FUN! I went to a party, threw a party, and hosted a party; amazing much?! Anyway, I want to properly post about what has been happening with me lately, with photos, so you will have have to wait ONE MORE day. I'm going to draft up a post tomorrow and hopefully have it up by dinner time.

This is just to say that I haven't forgotten about you, dearest blog. I miss you the most and think about you lots. I just need to do other things right now. Like...sleep. xxoo

Hey friends. Sorry for the lack of bloggtastic updates; life kind of got really crazy all at once. With what, you ask?

• Social fun - my dance card has been FULL. I am not complaining at all. I love my friends and getting to see more of them with higher frequency is a blessing. I just need to explain that to my laundry *glances at overflowing hamper*
• Professional Development - that's right, I'm getting out there and learning! I have done two weeks of workshops with Ladies Learning Code. They are great, albeit very introductory classes, which I found I had actually self-taught myself all the material already. But, I still had access to some VERY smart, creative people who worked with me and helped me improve my (not so mad) skillz. I've also had lots of fun book events this month, and more approaching!
• Personal ups and downs - As I'm sure you are aware if you have me on any social media platform, I found out last week that my apartment is being swallowed up by my landlords and spat back out as a single family home. I was given until May 1st to move, which is LOTS of time, but still - apartment hunting is stressful, especially in Toronto. And I was just starting to get into the home-vibe of this place. Ah well. Such is life! I found a new place thanks to an AMAZING friend, and I am really pumped to RESTART creating a home there. I know I say that with sarcasm, but in truth, I am excited to start there. The home reminds me a lot of my grandmother's house in some ways, and my parents house in others. It has a great "home" vibe to it. Plus, I will get to paint it to my own specifications and settle in with grown up furniture and all that. Woot. I just have to move. That was the 'down'. On the 'up' side of things, I am disgustingly happy these days. It is kind of nice. 
• Heatlh ickies - just when I thought I was able to start running again, I had a flare up of an old health issue. Nothing major, but definitely want to keep on eye on it. I think I may seriously consider some lighter, less cardio-activity in the interim. I have always loved yoga, so I may just start going more regularly. I also want to make sure that I am well for rock climbing next month. Just something else on my plate though. 
• 30x30 goals - no no, I haven't forgotten about all these things. I have totally dropped like, ALL the balls though. I need to step it up, but in order to do that, I need a whole weekend to myself, with NO distractions. So March. I am going to get shit together in March? Ugh. I am still doing stuff though - reading family books, planning from-scratch month, NEED THAT SEWING MACHINE! The knitting project is on the way (I have half a mind to say "screw it" and count my scarf as the thing I can wear.) And I am going to a poetry reading next week, so that will be something. Slowly slowly! 

That is all. I am exhauta-tired and not going to post any pictures tonight. To make up for this, I will do a picture post at the end of the week of all kinds of fun things. 

One last thing: Should I buy a TV? I'm undecided. Advice would be appreciated. 

For SERIOUS?!

Ya know how sometimes when life is ticking away at an awesome pace, things are all going your way, and you are RIDONKULOUSLY happy to boot? And then the universe takes note and is all "hrmmm...this can't go on forever, time to be an asshat!" Yeah, well, cue that in my world this week.

I have to move :(

My landlords are converting the house back into a single family home and I have until May-ish to GTFO.

It isn't the end of the world - I was considering moving sometime soon anyway, and things weren't PERFECT here, but I really wanted to move at my own speed and not on someone else's schedule. That is the annoying part. Add to it the unknowns in life: what will I be doing job-wise at the end of April? Where in the city should I be? Should I stay in Toronto or head out somewhere else until August? But then I also WANT to be in Toronto, not elsewhere. AHHH. My mind has slowly been freaking out.

The good side of all of this is that I don't have to leave NOW. I can take my time, keep my eyes out for the right place; in my price range, all the things I want in an apartment, good 'hood, etc. Maybe I can even get a place that will eventually be dog friendly (!!!!!!)

Not much else to share in other news. On here.

CURSES!

So I was all excited* to go to my poetry reading last night and get #24 crossed off the list, finally. I had picked a fun sounding poetry event and was on my way to it all alone (shockingly none of my friends wanted to spend their Saturday night listening to poetry); I even forced down a disco-nap so that I would be all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed for it!

Then this happened:

DUB. TEE. EFF. 

SO no poetry for me last night and #23 remains un-crossed off. 

Everything else seems to be going pretty well though! I'm spending part of my afternoon today mapping out a schedule for From-Scratch month, which I will post for your view pleasure asap. I also plan on mapping out a schedule for the quilt I want to make, so that I can get started on that asap. 

Random question: Does anyone out there in internet land know of any good free/cheap online language tutoring or something like that? I was looking through my photos this morning and found this gem from Dec:

After emailing a couple Mandarin tutors last month, I haven't really done anything more on that one. I also need to really go to more shows - I miss my show-buddy! (You know who you are...). I really want to tick off a few of these...it is a much easier list to tackle that the monster I have on this site. Plus: trampolines!!! LASER TAG!!!! Why didn't I put shit like this on my 30x30?!

Okay kids, I'm off to the AGO today. Win!

*I wasn't excited at all. I was tired and just want to go home. But I went!

Planning my Trip

That's right. I've decided to take this beast by the horns and just turn three goals into one massive (sort of illogical) road trip.

The way I see it, at the end of this internship the following will be true:

• I will have nothing that needs my attention job-wise until August. So 3+ months "free"
• I will have nothing tying me to Toronto; no school, no job commitment, and likely not even an apartment (since I am thinking I will just give this place up rather than try to sublet it). 

So basically - lots of time, little money. This is the PERFECT scenario to just rough it on the road for a bit. I'm actually a little excited. The idea of a longer-term solo trip has been haunting me since I left China in 2007. When I was planning my return to Canada, you see, I had planned a huge train trip that would take me through China, Mongolia, Siberia, Russia, and Europe. I had the WHOLE THING planned to the smalled detail. Then my employer screwed me over and I couldn't afford to do it. This is my moment to live that trip! 

So my planned route has me on the bus. Not ideal, but hey - I have done rougher traveling before in my life (the hard-seat-overnight train in Thailand comes immediately to mind). The plan is as follows:

• Toronto - Calgary: This looks like it will be my first stop since this is the first place on the schedule where I know someone. Good enough for me
• Calgary - Vancouver: I would stay in Van for a couple of weeks. My youngest sister is out there,  my oldest friend, and some other friends I have from undergrad. It would be great to see all of them (and try to spread out the sleeping on various couches, haha)
• Vancouver - Chicago: I'm tempted to stop somewhere along this route too, but I'm not sure where exactly. May need to do some more research. Chicago would be a 2-3 day stay. Hopefully I could couchsurf there. 
• Chicago - Boston: Again, 2-3 days in Boston 
• Boston - Hali

OR 

• Chicago - Atlanta
• Atlanta - Boston
• Boston - Hali

It all depends on how much I can save! Over all, I think I would need around $1000 for the bus tickets, plus room and board and some spending money, so let's call it $2500 max. I am planning the timeline with my departure on June 3, meaning that I will have a month and a half to work and save (and not pay rent, since it will be my last month and I paid that when I moved in). 

On paper, it looks doable! 

Of course, this all depends on a LOT of things: I need to have that time as free (who knows - MAAAYYYYBE I will get a job! Stop laughing, all you people in publishing!) I also need to be able to save that amount of money, meaning I need to find temporary work. 

I'm certainly not setting things in stone, but it is looking good so far. Planning calms me when I get all frazzled about this. 

Any suggestions? Ideas? Helpful tips? Share!

Needing to DO something

I kind of wish that more of my 30 goals were things that I could check off. There is a real satisfaction in crossing things off of that massive list, and a real sense of stagnation that comes when you're not. Sure, I'm DOING stuff - I'm knitting, and the quilting project will soon begin (I have no monies, it is hard to get supplies without them). But I haven't had the satisfaction of finishing something in a while.

So, when I can't DO, I plan.

I've decided to schedule "rock climbing month" in for March. I rock climbed for a year back in 2006-2007 when I was in China, but haven't gone ONCE since returning to Canada (sad!) I always loved it though and found it to be the perfect "sport" for non-athletic me. The reason for the HUGE delay - I's poor. But I will be going here: $35 for the first lesson and then $135 for my 10 times-pass. Sold!

Also, I am one poetry reading away from completing #24. So I am going this month. Let's Google one right now, shall we?

Um...AMAZING GOOGLE FIND. Toronto Poet Laureate George Elliot Clarke will be preforming at the Drake Hotel Underground on January 26. FIVE DOLLARS. In.

I also need to do some planning for "Make-it-from-scratch" month, but I feel like doing that while poor might actually be beneficial. Maybe April? It will require a lot of planning. Also, a conversation today/yesterday regarding garbage and waste brought back all my Masters research, and I'm inspired to start trying to live in more zero-waste-y ways. Those of you who knew me then can likely recall the enthusiasm I had regarding garbage-resource stuff.* We shall see!

I am also getting terrified of not getting to do the trips. Mostly because I have ZERO money. Damn unpaid-ness of this internship! But I also will have 3 months with nothing to "do" at the end of it, so maybe I could go then? Work for 2 weeks and then just bum my way to Chicago and Boston and...Vancouver? The country is huge and that is awesome but really makes traveling expensive...anyway. If there is someone out there reading this and has access to cheap airplane tickets or wants to lend me their car for a weekend, I will love you for all of time. :D

In real-life updates, I had a delightful weekend that involved a soup exchange (exactly what it sounds like) and a book club and a nice brunch with some friends. I was SUPPOSED to hang out in a yurt tonight, but then I got all icky feeling and tired and thought that it may be best to have relaxed-yurt-hangouts, as opposed to "I don't wanna be in this yurt" yurt hangouts. Luckily my yurt-buddy was understanding and wonderful.

It was one of those weekend where you feel so content just by being in the presence of awesome people. So to those of you I saw: Thanks for being awesome. And to those of you I didn't: We should be awesome together soon, please.

In the exciting world of interning, I mostly have discovered that sitting at a desk all day HURTS. Sure babies were heavy and that hurt too, but my body is all pissy over not getting to, you know, move for hours at a time. As a result, I may brave the cold and start winter-running again. I'm getting all pudgy around the middle from the combined "cookies at my desk" and "sitting at my desk" evils. No likey.

Aside from that, it continues to be pretty awesome!

Hope all in well in your corners of the world!

*Fun Carrie-fact: while doing my Masters degree I was part of a waste-research student club. We would get together and share our various waste-oriented research. It. Was. Awesome. (We also called ourselves "York Gets Wasted"). I also got permission to do a ride-along with a private garbage collector for CREDIT during the garbage strike, but it ended before I could make the arrangements. I was REALLY sad. I may be opening a can of worms (Which I would then use for an under-the-sink compost)

Hey friends!!

How are you?

Things here are great! I went to a wonderful little launch party last night for one of my all time favourite authors (Andrew Kaufman. Go out and buy/read his books NOW). It was nice to be doing something social and I got to see loads of people who I haven't seen in ages. I think the last publishing "event" I went to was the Giller Light - that was AGES ago! I definitely need to make more of an effort to go to things. There are a couple more coming up, so off a-socializing I will go!

Interning continues to be great. I went out after work with some of the peeps I work with to the launch and it was great to be out of the office and socializing with them. (I also know that at least one of them reads this blog...so it is weird to be writing about it, but guess what - I'M GONNA!)

I also received an email with reading to do before my NEXT internship this fall which is kind of awesome. I'm gonna be MAKING books, guys. Like...MAKING them. It does not get more rad than that, and I am in a constant state of dork-out.

As jazzed as I am for fall-internship, I am kind of sad that I will be missing out on all the stuff that will be happening during that time in Toronto. Fall is huge for books and there will be launches all the time, and IFOA, and my friend will be launching her sexy-author-calendar. I can't miss all that!! But I will. (I may squirrel away some of the money I get from the internship and fly back to Toronto for IFOA and my friend's launch...that seems reasonable).

Then there is the fact that I will be turning 30 at home, with my parents. I know it is petty and trivial, but I really want to be in Toronto for my 30th, or in Vancouver with my birthday-bestie. I love my friends in NS, but because everyone is spread out it will be a logistical nightmare. Ah well. Count my blessings - right?!

One unexpected blessing - my hair is getting super long! Check it:

I'm not sure why I chose "overly concerned about hair length" for this photo-face. 

I'm excited to cut it all off eventually, but for now, I'm really digging having it long. Mostly so I can make hair-beards, like this:

This is what 29 looks like, kids. 

Lastly - I saw this today. A young couple doing 365 new things in 365 days! They have done all sorts of neat stuff and are almost done their project - go check them out! I TOTALLY want to copy next year!





**if you are about to accuse me for putting in dumb-ass photos to distract how  I haven't uploaded real photos in awhile, you can save it. You're right. I tried to make up for it with hair-beard, which will now exist FOREVER on the internet. Cut me some slack. **

Exciting News

Many of you know that when I was home in NS over the break I had a fun little meeting. Here is the scoop for those of you who don't know the details:

My hometown is Wolfville, NS. Right next door is Kentville, which happens to be the home of Gaspereau Press, a small independent publisher and printer. They do mostly literary fiction and poetry, though they have done the odd non-fiction book. Everything is printed in house, much like is done here in Toronto at Coach House Books. They have all the fancy typesetting machines, binders, sewing machines, and things that do things I don't even know about. It is a book nerd paradise.

So when I learned through a hilarious series of events that I actually knew the guys who owned it, I thought it might be worth a shot to see if they take interns. It was kind of ideal: if accepted I could gain some experience doing pretty much everything in the book making process, from manuscript review right through editorial, marketing, sales, publicity, and production. And more. Plus I would be back in NS, where I grew up, and I would have the chance to spend time with people I love there who I don't get to see nearly enough. I would walk away from the experience with a wealth of publishing knowledge, some quality time with loved ones, and...lots of home cooked meals, haha

IF they took interns.

Well, after some emailing back and forth I met with Andrew Steeves, one of the owners, over the holidays and we had a GREAT chat. He is undoubtedly one of the most intelligent people I've sat down with. We spoke for a couple hours on Christmas Eve and he gave me a tour of the press. We talked shop for a bit about an internship possibility and things looked good! But nothing was finalized so I didn't want to say anything.

Buuuut I got an email today and it is all set! I will be heading back east this summer for August, September, and October (probably those months, though things are flexible) to intern with them! REJOICE!

You know what is really kind of odd though? As excited as I am for all the reasons I already mentioned, a big part of why I am excited is more personal than professional. My grandfather was a typesetter at a local newspaper back in his day. He would hand set pages of type for the printer, day after day. I, of course, never knew this part of his life first hand, but it was always something that I knew about him. So I am really excited to get learn his trade, to spend (some of) my days doing what he would do, and to hopefully get a better understanding of what his job was like by learning to do it myself. He passed away several years ago, but I like to think that we would have bonded over my upcoming experience, and I a looking forward to living that connection out on my end.

But there you go! This means I will be home in NS this Summer and Fall. This also means that I will have NO WHERE to be mid-April until August and I could therefore go anywhere! Do I stay in Toronto? Head to Vancouver? Philly? And it means that at the end of THIS whole show - my 30x30 list - I will be turning 30 in NS. Not exactly what I planned....but, life never is, right?

So suddenly 2013 feels pretty full!

Whole Person

I like to make plans in advance so that I fill my days with lots of different things.

I like to stay at home, with a book or some knitting and turn my phone off and enjoy my own company. 

Being in bed early on a weeknight does not make me "lame" - it makes me better at my job and able to do it well. That matters to me. 

I don't think that there is anything wrong with staying out with friends, having drinks and getting a little rowdy until the wee hours of the morning. I am not drinking now though, so it is no fun for me. 

I wake up really early. Even on the weekends. 

I like my home. I want to spend time there. 

More often than not, I make plans to see PEOPLE. What we do is secondary. 

I care about things like art and music and I want to experience them more. 

I listen to the CBC everyday. 

I don't know any new bands and I'm okay with that. Maybe it makes me less cool, but I like to experience music through others and will get friends and family to fill up my iPod. 

I don't watch TV much. 

I am branching out socially and making new friends and meeting new people. This is really important and exciting for me.

I believe that staying connect with friends and family is important, but the way you do that is to communicate with them, not just physically show up and be in the same room. 

I'm single, but I certainly don't feel alone. 

I am at the same time entirely the same person I have always been, while being nothing like I was 5 years ago. (or 10 or 20 or even 1)

I have had a lot of struggles, but I am better and stronger for them. 

I deserve to be treated with respect. 

It's been a crazy week guys. Both REALLY REALLY good with the internship and finally having this part of my life come together. But all really really hard, having to question myself and what I am doing and the decisions I make. 

What I have learned this week is I need to be try to be more empathetic and understanding. To make more of an effort.  To try to remember that everyone has things going on behind the scenes that I don't know about. I had some great times this week though, with old friends and new, so I am thankful for that. And for the majority of people in my life who have been supportive and understanding with everything I'm doing. It is pretty great to have so many people rally behind you in the way that I have experienced. 

So onwards! This week has LOTS of fun stuff in store: tea dates, a book launch, a concert, a soup-party, a book club and a Yurt. Oh yes, I will be wrapping up this week in a yurt. Yurtastic!

The List - a check in

1. Run 5k - I have the go-ahead to start running again! I am both excited to start again (it feels great) and NOT excited (it is REALLY gross out). This is where I have to admit to not really liking winter much. I just hate being cold! So much! Buuuuuut I will brave the winter. 

2. 
Do 1 month COMPLETELY vegan

3. Quit My job

4. No Alcohol for the year - Going strong. I didn't have any drinks over the holidays, even though dad's scotch was pretty tempting. I floated the idea of having 1 celebratory drink with my family over my internship, and I was kind of offended by their response. They were NOT into the idea. My mom is not a drinker and I think she is over the moon that I have decided to give up alcohol for the year, and she made me feel...wrong and bad for even suggesting it. It was really upsetting. Obviously I want to stick to my goal, but I also think that if I were going to make an exception, this was a damn good reason. It wasn't like I was all drooling over having a drink or NEEDED to have one; I just thought it would be a really special way to mark something big, with my family. It definitely gave me a lot to think about in terms of how people are perceiving this "no alcohol" thing. Who knew it would be so complicated. 

5. Learn to knit and make something I can wear Well the scarf is done and the author-knitting project is on hold while I wait for the pattern/materials. I am working on a baby blanket right now for a friend though, and a hat (which is worked flat). My big goal is to learn to knit in the round. I may need to hit up my knitting friends to show me the ropes!

6. Make a quilt -  I have the Sew Machine fund in my hands, but I haven't gone to get it yet. I am just SO busy so I'm going to hold off for a couple weeks. But I have a plan! I guess next up is gathering fabic. 

7. Volunteer for a particular charity/organization (more to come) - Right. This one. Eep. 

8. Turn my apartment into a home (ie - put up shelves)  - Working on this. It is kind of on hold though, since I don't know how much longer I will be in this apartment. I am LIKELY going to be spending a few months in NS around the end of the summer, so I don't know if I will be able to sublet the apartment during that time. I don't want to sink money into a place that I'm not going to stay in, ya know. 

9. Have a Yard Sale - Spring. I'm starting to collect things for it though. 

10. Go to Vancouver - UGH. WHEN!?! 

11. Print 20 photos every month - make an album - full disclosure: I am failing at this one. I haven't print any since the first ones - TERRIBLE!!! I will make a point of going this weekend though. I have all the Christmas photos and I want to print those asap, so that is a great excuse. 

12. Host a dinner party - cook it all yourself! No news

13. Travel to Chicago - No Idea. I would love for someone to come with....eh? EH!?

14. Throw someone a surprise party - Nice try...

15. Make cards for all friends/family birthdays and anniversaries - I'm doing OKAY. I definitely missed a few in December (all of them in December) but in my defence I was working a LOT and having daily panic attacks. I fully intend on getting right back to it in January though!

16. Mail one personal, hand-written letter per month - Again - failing. Need to figure this out...

17. Donate my Hair - In the spring

18. Go to the dentist -  Not yet. 

19. Start a retirement fund  - I should make that appointment...

20. Read 1 book, watch 1 movie, and buy 1 album recommended by of each of my family members -  Bought all the books except one and I'm looking at them. Right now I'm reading the Canada Reads finalists, so that is taking up my time, but these one are next!

21. Journal for the whole year - either on the blog or on paper - Blogging less, but I am hoping to make it more of a daily habit. 

22. Try rock climbing again - buy a 10x pass and use it up within a month - I was going to do January as my rock climbing month, but now I'm unemployed so maybe I should wait until February and save up for it a bit...

23. Take myself on a birthday "date" on or close to the 8th of every month - reflect on how things are going with the list/in life/etc. Nope. 

24. Go to each of the following: a poetry reading; a book event (non work related) ; a concert - all by myself Just need that poetry reading! 

25. Try some kind of kickboxing/ass whooping class. - This is scheduled for sometime in the spring. 

26. Call each of my sisters for a sit-down conversation once a month (I have a lot of sisters so this will take up most of my Sundays) _ I am talking to them more, but it is hard since they are busy people too. Seeing them over Christmas was great!

27. Sign up (and go) to a beginners art class  - I need to schedule that book binding workshop...January is ACTUALLY almost fully booked. WTF

28. Travel to Boston - Who knows!

29. Get a credit card (shocking I don't have one, right?) Still waiting. 

30. Become a member at the AGO, MOCCA andROM 

Quick Little Updateroni

1. My new lover moves in this weekend. Must organize and clear room for the exciting arrival. 
2. Internship continues to be great. I work with smart, wonderful people and I am going to learn SO much. Can't wait. So far I've learned how to scan things REALLY well. Hey- gotta start somewhere! 
3. OMG SHEEZER SHOW NEXT WEEK!! Who wants to come with? Jan 10 - DO IT! 
4. I'm reading Indian Horse, one of the Canada Reads finalists. It is a devastating novel - it makes my heart ache in so many ways - from sadness, joy, love, just all the emotions. I am going to get a reflection up on my other (VER neglected) site asap. 
5. Weird sidebar: I recently FB creeped an ex from ages ago and whoa. Just whoa. Have I always had HORRIBLE taste in men? (don't answer that) I need an old school matchmaker or something, because clearly I don't know ANYTHING. 
6. I fell asleep on the subway this afternoon. 
7. My head is full of some kind of heavy stuff at the moment that I am having a hard time processing. Normally I would just write it out here and be done with it, but it involves others and I don't want to make things worse. Annoying. Such is the negative side of having people who know you IRL read your journal. 
8. DID I MENTION SHEEZER?!?
9. The weirdest thing happened last night. So I listen to hypnosis recordings to sleep at night (I have a long and complicated relationship with insomnia and anxiety around sleeping). I listen to the same recording every night and it always works - relaxes me, clears away my anxiety, puts me under and helps me decompress the day before falling asleep. I was never one to believe in this kind of thing, but honestly, the second the chick says "one" I am under. Aware but in a totally relaxed state. It is weird and awesome. ANYWAY. So I was listening to it last night when I started to hear almost layered voices under the hypnosis lady's voice, all talking in unison. It was CREEPY. I still went under like I usually did, and they didn't tell me to burn anything, so I guess it is all good, but weird. Just thought I would share.
10. In the next three weeks I have the following fun times: a birthday party, a soup exchange (YUM), book club, a book launch, a class to audit, a concert (SHEEZER), and a good old fashioned par-tay. Plus lots of great reading to do. 
11. Life is good, guys. Really effing good. 

Day One

Forgot my lunch

Stood in front of a scanner all day

Exhausted

Fancy clothes are weird

90 minute commute each way

DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I LOVED. IT. 

LOVE. 

Now Imma go read Indian Horse (achingly good - really) and fall asleep. 

So awesome.