Happy Holidays!

I've been in Nova Scotia (still am, actually) and so I've been a tad busy. I also decided not to bring my computer on this trip so that I could maximize the time I spend with my family (though, truth be told, between THEIR computers, and our collective tablets/iPads/phones, it didn't make much of a difference).

I had a great trip though. Saw friends, laughed a LOT with my family, and spent quality time with people here that I don't get to see often enough.

What has been on my mind this week, and for the past few weeks, is New Years. I decided that since I'm doing 29 more goals this year, I would not be making formal resolutions this year, but I really like the idea of taking time around New Years to reflect on how things are going. And I've been doing that a lot.

It has been a tumultuous year for me. I won't get into all the details, but if you have been following along with this blog you know that I have had my ups and downs. And now I will be opening a whole new chapter of my life in 2013 with upcoming internships and job prospects. There is a lot to reflect on.

Coming into this family reunion with that in my mind made me really watch my family members and what qualities they possess, and which of my qualities came out when I was with them (both good and bad). It was interesting to interact with people and being so mindful/reflective of how those interactions were going and what part of my personality was at play.

So I decided that in place of formal resolutions I would make an attempt to consciously adopt those qualities that I saw in my family members and admired. Let's all it New Years Inspirations rather than Resolutions. And they are:

• Patience
• Generosity
• Determination
• Curiosity 
• Kindness  

This isn't to say that I possess none of these qualities in any degree, but rather that I think I would benefit from remembering them and trying to live with them as a more prevalent part of my life.

Any guesses as to which family member is which?? haha

No pictures today as I am on my sister's computer - sorry kiddos.

Now - to nap until my friend arrives with her TINY new baby. Delightful.

Much love to each of you and all the best in the New Year! 

 

Big One

Quit My Job

That's right! After this week, I will be done nannying. I was offered an internship today at University of Toronto Press and I enthusiastically accepted. No more nannying! HOORAY! 

I start January 2nd. Can't. Wait. 

Hello!

Oh, blog. You have been so neglected. This is what happens when I work stupid hours (70+ hours of childcare the other work. If you don't have kids, you have no idea how awful that is. If you do...hug me!) I've also been busy with school and trying, TRYING, to see people before I leave. Alas, I don't even really have time now for a proper update, so I resort to point form.

Random things you may be interested to know.

• Classes have wrapped up for this semester. I have one straggling assignment to hand in, but then I'm FREE. Next semester I am hoping to find an HTML/CSS tutor and I will be auditing an editing class. But until then, I am going to bask in the glories of no school. 
• I picked up some new yarn the other day to knit some BABY BLANKETS! Seems like all my friends are giving birth or getting impregnated these days, so I had best get a-knitting. It is very exciting though and I can't wait until my latest project is a little further off the ground so I can show it to you all (right now it is 2 rows of knitting...not so exciting). 
• SEWING MACHINE!!!!!! This is all I think about some nights. I totally have failed at getting all the quilt materials but I will check out some places when I'm home. 
• Lots of my family members picked really heavy/long books for me to read. Jerks. (j/k)
• I have 100% dropped the ball on the cards. Awful, right? I'm going to force my artistically inclined sister to make a bunch with me when I'm home and then get one of those card-organization-boxes like my grandma used to have. I've accepted that I am just turning into an 80 year old. It's cool. 
• NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS! I'm not making any. Ha. Instead, I'm formulating a mantra for 2013. I haven't quite got it down yet, but it will involve having more fun. Sometimes, I get so caught up in all these things that I am doing that I forget to actually enjoy myself and see the lighter side of things. 
• Starting to panic about the trips. Just a little. Someone wanna drive to Boston/Chicago with me? PLEASE?! Also don't know when I will make it to Vancouver now as there is an important wedding to attend during the time I was planning on going. And it is on the other side of the country. 
• Oh - I think I'm gonna move. Yup. So I can haz dog now?!
• Job stuff - still waiting to hear back on a number of things. Trust me, if something exciting happens, you will not be able to avoid hearing about it.  
• Currently emailing with one of my most favourite authors about his new book. We are going to get together to talk about it in the new year. I friggin' love this kind of stuff. LOVE.
• What else....Oh yeah!
• I GO HOME IN LESS THAN A WEEK AND ALL MY SISTERS WILL BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!! I am foolishly excited, clearly. 

That's all! I will try to be more attentive to you, sweet little blog, in the coming weeks/months. Things just got a little crazy there. 

On Quitting my job

I feel as though I should clear some stuff up.

I have a pretty great job. I get to spend my days with two hilarious, smart, and really sweet, loving kids. They are wonderful. As are their families, my employers. I work for people who really care about me and my well-being, who want me to succeed, and who treat me with respect. It is pretty awesome.

The problem is that I don't want to work in childcare. At all. This was always meant to be a temporary job. One that I would hold while I finished my graduate degree. When the grad degree got put on hold, I fell into working full time. And then it stuck. So a lot of the frustration that I feel towards my working life isn't that I have a terrible job, because I don't. It comes from not being in the field that I know I want to be in.

The other element at play is that my job is hard. It is important to make the distinction here in exactly how my job is hard because it explains a lot about why I get so frustrated/burned out doing it. Taking care of children is, emotionally and physically draining. My job is to LOVE someone's baby (or babies). I care about those kids SO MUCH and from that love comes concern for their safety and comfort, the desire to make them happy, guilt if I don't feel as though I am meeting their needs, etc. etc. It isn't a "show up at 9am and go through the motions" kind of working life that I lead. On the physical-demanding side of it, they each weigh 30 pounds or so and I am pushing, lifting, moving, carrying, or bouncing one or both of them for a large portion of my day. I crawl on the floor. I bend down to their level. I haul a double stroller with two toddlers in it up and down stairs.

All this is to say that my job is exhausting. At the end of the day I am physically tired and emotionally spent. Add to this the stress of school, money, volunteering, not sleeping, applying for jobs, trying to maintain friendships, meeting new people, trying to be an adult and do things like wash my dishes. It is a lot!

And so occasionally I hit the wall. This week was one such occasion. So it isn't so much that "something" happened as it is that "everything kept happening" and I was unable to keep up. I'm okay. Things are okay. I just need a vacation.

Also - you all need to call your moms and tell her you LOVE her and give her a huge thank you. Sometimes, you pooped in the tub. And she cleaned it up. And it was gross. And she STILL LOVES YOU. The woman is a saint.

So there you have it - my bad week, which wasn't really that bad. Thanks again to everyone who was so wonderful and helped me out!

I have lots to update on so expect some fun posts this week!

So. Much. Win.

Five Awesome Things 

1. These

I made peanut butter and chocolate balls for a get together this past weekend. And there are so many left over. And so I get to eat them every day. And that is AWESOME.

2. Apparently one of the kids saw a Starbucks logo this weekend while with his parents, pointed it out and said MY NAME. I've been branded in his tiny brain. Maybe not awesome, but kind of hilarious. 

3. This 

Donations I have collected for The Red Door - baby items and toiletries (cat not included). This is so awesome.

4. ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS HAD A FRIGGIN BABY!!!!! OMG it is exciting when people who you love MAKE other people for you to love! Congrats!!!!!!

5. I saved the best for last: 

Quit My Job

Obviously there is more to say about it than just that, but I want to have the full conversation with my employers before I throw details about it up here. They are being VERY supportive though and I am so relieved I want to dance and sing and cry and puke. But I won't do any of those things because it is late and I need to go to sleep. But yay! 

The Replacements

I posted awhile back about replacing some of my original 30 goals with some new ones. I have gone back and forth on it a little, but in the end I decided that I wanted to go ahead with the change. This project is mine and I want to use it to transform how I spend my time and to get things done that I have always wanted to do.

So, on onwards!

I haven't come up with all the replacement goals yet, but I have couple.

1. Eat a Steak (or try a steak). Are you a little surprised? Wasn't I just vegan? Didn't I have this long explanation for why I don't eat meat and why I feel bad for even eating cheese? Why would I possible want to eat steak!? Simple - I never have. I went veggie when I was 13 meaning I never had good steak. I never tried really good quality meat. When I gave up meat what that meant was that I was giving up chicken fingers and pepperoni on my pizza. Over the past year or so I have been trying some meat-items that I never got to experience because of my vegetarianism. There was the lobster that I picked out, killed myself (poor barnacle face and bubbles...) and ate last summer: 

And then last Christmas my dad made me some scallops for the first time. They were....oddly textured. 

So this year I may let my dad cook me a steak. Why my dad? a) He makes delicious food b) he knows he will get to eat most of it in the end and c) he isn't offended if I involuntarily throw up as a result. 

    2. Do a month of from-scratch cooking. I have been fascinated by how people eat and where food comes from for a long time. This as, in part, led me to try making various things from scratch, from bread to butter to my own caramel earlier this year. I have a bunch of recipes that I have collected for items and so I thought now is as good a time as any to makes myself use them! What this means that that for a month I will only eat things at home that I make myself from raw ingrediants where ever possible. No - I will not make my own soy milk, but yes, I will try to make my own tofu. If it works, awesome! If not, hey I tried. The point isn't to live like a pioneer, it is to LEARN and experience food in a new way. 

    3. Not sure on this one. Options are: Take Highland dancing lessons (did you know I used to Highland dance? Well you know now); Something yoga-ish; get a tattoo (still thinking about that one); take a cooking class; something I haven't thought of yet...

So there ya go. Lots in the works.

In other news I had a lovely holiday party last night with some bookish-friends from Twitter. Desserts were eaten, gifts exchanged, and lots and lots of book-conversation was had. It was the best thing ever. 

Annnnnd I am going to be crossing one of the biggies off my list pretty soon. Super huge gulp. It is scary stuff for me. But more on that later.