The Before Photos

Well, it is happening this weekend, folks! I'm moving. Again. Funny how one of my goals was to turn my apartment into a home, to really settle into it and make roots. What fun!

But, I have a new place that I'm gearing up to settle into. It is an old house that is getting a facelift, so I get to have much more of a hand in how that will look in my unit. I spent last weekend painting with a couple of friends, and I'm on my way back there tomorrow to finish up the details.

I thought since this home-project is going to be starting from scratch, it would be fun for me to share some of the before and afters. I have lots of projects already planned in addition to the painting: light fixtures, cabinet details, some fun textiles that I will do with the help of my mother who is visiting at the end of April, and much more. I will of course do side-by-sides once projects get finished, but until then, have a look at the raw material I am working with!

Bricked up fireplace in my bedroom. Booya

Kitchen

Living Room, with all the kitchen appliances in it. Cool.

Basement, which I have NO idea what I'm going to do with. Ideas?!

So those are the new digs! I will share the half-painted pics with you all later this weekend, and some more once my stuff is moved in. If you follow me on instagram or twitter (@cmacmizzle) you are getting lots of sneak peeks already :) 

That's it for now! I'd love to hear your thoughts/ideas, so comment here or reply on facebook/twitter. I need ideas!!!

#14 - the surprise party

This post is a little late, but here it is all the same.

A good portion of my close friends are turning 30 this year just like me (funny how that works, eh?) so I was a little nervous when I decided I wanted to throw a surprise party for someone. I mean 30 is a biggie and that is a lot of responsibility! So my original plan was to bow out of the 30th birthdays all together and throw a party for someone else who was having a less exciting birthday.

But then the year progressed and one of my best friends got engaged, our friendship continued to grow and evolve, and I realized that I wanted to show her how much I love her, so I dove in to the 30th birthday planning INSANITY.

Truth be told, I couldn't have picked a better person to throw a party for. I know Sarah well enough to know that what she would want in a party is good food and her friends and family all together; Boom - Potluck. I got my bossypants on and told everyone where to go, what to bring, and NOT TO BE LATE and things were pretty much done! Sarah's mom was a huge help with planning and cooking and baking and I loved that her and I got to talk on the reg about how much we loved her daughter.

So Sunday was the big day! Sarah's man-friend was responsible for getting her to the destination (and he did a miraculously good job of taking the "why don't I have a party planned" heat as well) and he preformed admirably. All the guests hid and the lights were out when our birthday girl came in and then...LONG AWKWARD PAUSE...."Surprise!"

Success!

For me the joy of planning a surprise party wasn't in the party itself; I knew that the party would be a success so long as the people she wanted there were present. I found joy in collecting all the people that my friend loved into one place, in spending the weeks leading up to her party thinking about what she would like, how she would react, and how much I friggin adore her. It was the thought behind the party that made it so much fun to plan. I had a moment after she had arrived and everything on my end was "done" where I actually though "Oh - there gets to be a party now!" haha

I also really enjoyed getting to toast my friend on her (almost) 30th birthday. I have known Sarah since we were 15, which means that in turning 30 we are entering a phase of life where we have known one other for longer than we haven't know one another. There is no one I have cried more with, laughed more with, done stupid-ass stuff with than her. She has seen me at my absolute WORST, which makes having her present for this awesome phase of my life all the more special. Without a doubt I would not be the person I am today without having had her friendship, and I am so grateful for her.

So, this was a pretty awesome and meaningful goal for me to cross off. And I love that such a good friend played an integral role in helping me do that.

SURPRISE!

Dinner was delicious - Thanks everyone!

Birthday girl opens some gifts

Wine and chatting - it was a great night!

Next post- The Dinner Party!

Planning my Trip

That's right. I've decided to take this beast by the horns and just turn three goals into one massive (sort of illogical) road trip.

The way I see it, at the end of this internship the following will be true:

• I will have nothing that needs my attention job-wise until August. So 3+ months "free"
• I will have nothing tying me to Toronto; no school, no job commitment, and likely not even an apartment (since I am thinking I will just give this place up rather than try to sublet it). 

So basically - lots of time, little money. This is the PERFECT scenario to just rough it on the road for a bit. I'm actually a little excited. The idea of a longer-term solo trip has been haunting me since I left China in 2007. When I was planning my return to Canada, you see, I had planned a huge train trip that would take me through China, Mongolia, Siberia, Russia, and Europe. I had the WHOLE THING planned to the smalled detail. Then my employer screwed me over and I couldn't afford to do it. This is my moment to live that trip! 

So my planned route has me on the bus. Not ideal, but hey - I have done rougher traveling before in my life (the hard-seat-overnight train in Thailand comes immediately to mind). The plan is as follows:

• Toronto - Calgary: This looks like it will be my first stop since this is the first place on the schedule where I know someone. Good enough for me
• Calgary - Vancouver: I would stay in Van for a couple of weeks. My youngest sister is out there,  my oldest friend, and some other friends I have from undergrad. It would be great to see all of them (and try to spread out the sleeping on various couches, haha)
• Vancouver - Chicago: I'm tempted to stop somewhere along this route too, but I'm not sure where exactly. May need to do some more research. Chicago would be a 2-3 day stay. Hopefully I could couchsurf there. 
• Chicago - Boston: Again, 2-3 days in Boston 
• Boston - Hali

OR 

• Chicago - Atlanta
• Atlanta - Boston
• Boston - Hali

It all depends on how much I can save! Over all, I think I would need around $1000 for the bus tickets, plus room and board and some spending money, so let's call it $2500 max. I am planning the timeline with my departure on June 3, meaning that I will have a month and a half to work and save (and not pay rent, since it will be my last month and I paid that when I moved in). 

On paper, it looks doable! 

Of course, this all depends on a LOT of things: I need to have that time as free (who knows - MAAAYYYYBE I will get a job! Stop laughing, all you people in publishing!) I also need to be able to save that amount of money, meaning I need to find temporary work. 

I'm certainly not setting things in stone, but it is looking good so far. Planning calms me when I get all frazzled about this. 

Any suggestions? Ideas? Helpful tips? Share!

Big One

Quit My Job

That's right! After this week, I will be done nannying. I was offered an internship today at University of Toronto Press and I enthusiastically accepted. No more nannying! HOORAY! 

I start January 2nd. Can't. Wait. 

Feeling Funky

I'm at work and the kids are sleeping. I just sent out a bunch of applications, which feels great, so I thought I should update the dear little blog, since it has been so neglected as of late. But I'm exhausted, so in the interest of time (read: I want to have a nap asap) I am resorting to point form

1. I don't know why I say "resorting to" - I love point form. If I were ever to write a book, it would largely be in point form. 
2. All I've been doing lately is working. Nothing exciting. At all. 
3. Over the weekend, since I was sick as a dog (a saying I will never understand) I picked out a pattern for my author-knitting project. And then today I unpicked it, since I think it may be too heavy for mid-May. That's okay. I have until the weekend to finalize. 
4. I got my Christmas tree on Sunday and I love it so much it is weird. I may or may not have slept in the living room one night this week with its lights on...who knows! My mom sent my childhood ornaments so those are ready for pick up at the post office and waiting to go on the tree. If only I didn't work so much so I could actually go get them...
5. Seriously - like 75 hours between 3 families the other week. No wonder I got sick. 
6. I'm in a total funk over still having no job leads. It sucks. 
7. I'm hosting a fun party this weekend! Yay! I hope I find a chance to clean my house before then 
8. I have raised $90 for my family sponsorship! WOW! Thanks friends/family!!! 
9. I don't ever get to do anything fun lately. See #2 and #5
10. Oh! I have been thinking about the replacement goals and I think I have them ready to tell you about. 

But first - I need to SLEEP. 

I'm DONE!

Guys. I finished my scarf today. 

I love it so much I kind of want to weep with joy. 

I got it long enough to wrap around twice and still hang down enough to cover my chest. 

And look how pretty! Only three mistakes on the whole thing. 

I even was able to properly cast off with no problems. 

Magic Scarf. 

Kicking the List to the Curb (sorta)

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of thinking that is the result of talking to a bunch of new people about my 30x30 list. I love talking about the list, not only because I love talking about myself (ha!) but mostly because I like talking about WHY the list is around and HOW I came up with the things on it.

I have also recently been engaging more in conversation regarding how many of the items on the list are evolving. The knitting goal has turned into this "knit something inspired by a novel you have never read that an author is going to wear on tour" thing. The quilting is becoming much more social and involved, with people I don't know well/at all expressing interest in joining a quilting circle. The running is spilling over into my professional world with a publishing running group. The hair donation is going to be a local fundraiser. Etc. Etc. It is really interesting how this very personal list is slowly expanding outwards and involving more and more people. And I love it.

The funny thing is that I want more of this. More of these goal-expanding experiences. I know that maybe this is crazy, and that with a list of 29 as-of-yet-unaccomplished things, maybe I should focus more on the things that I already have listed, but I can't help but come up with new goals, more goals, goals I never considered at the beginning.

And there is nothing wrong with that. I had brunch (it was really sneaky breakfast, but shh) with a friend last weekend and something he said has been playing on repeat in my head: it doesn't need to be on the list for me to do it.

So true. I could very well do these new things without putting them out there or needing to check them off.

But then I wondered: are some of the things on the list NOW things that don't need to be there and that I should just be doing anyway?

It really made me think why things had been put there to begin with and the motivation behind them. And really, I feel like I have already learned so much from this experience and changed my habits that maybe they don't NEED to be up there anymore. There are some that are just part of my life now. So maybe I should replace them with one of these new goals??

This is a hard one for me - I like making plans and I LOVE sticking to them. I mentioned before about maybe possibly being something of a mild control freak (*ahem*) and so I feel a huge sense of order and therefore calm from having these planned out, with a clear path to follow. I don't like changes to those plans.

But I think in this instance it may be good for me to change the plan. Both as an exercise in learning to be more flexible, but also so that I can really maximize my 30x30 list.

So all that babble up there to say this: I'm changing some of the items on my list.

Which ones? Not the hard ones, but not the trivial ones either. I'm bumping the ones that I'm doing anyways, which out thinking about them. I am still going to keep them on the blog and report on them, etc. but they won't be part of the 30.

So the ones being cut are: 

• Journal for the whole year - either on the blog or on paper
• Take myself on a birthday "date" on or close to the 8th of every month - reflect on how things are going with the list/in life/etc.
• Call each of my sisters for a sit-down conversation once a month (I have a lot of sisters so this will take up most of my Sundays)

I'm doing these things without even thinking about it, and I would rather use these spots to work towards goals that are a little more challenging, that expand my horizons a bit more and that I will feel a good sense of accomplishment in completing. Don't worry sisters, I'm still going to call you all the time. 

Oh Hai

It's me again. You all knew I would be back.

And as promised, I come bearing gifts! Well, photos. Of...stuff. Just hold on a sec and we will get there.

So I had a long-ass day, but a very nice one. Work was non-sucky. But then I had to stay late and missed a knitting date with friends. Cry! I made up for it by taking myself out for coffee hot apple cider and knitting in Starbucks for awhile while listening to novelty rap. Yup. That girl.

Anyway, I ended up having a really great night. I got to sit down and chat a bit about my 30x30 goals (among other things) with someone and it lit a proverbial fire under my ass to look at the list and get SOMETHING done.

So I got home and looked, and then did! I decided to take a crack at the "make my apartment a home" goal, which meant making a list of projects. Here is what I came up with:

 An impressive list, no? I think that most of them are doable - I need to get the sewing machine for the curtains (hear that, Santa?!) so that is an easy one to tick off when the time comes. I am working away on the kitchen dry goods (my cupboards look so pretty on the inside!) The closet organization may be tricky, but I have high hopes for doing some shelving. Anyway, there are some places I need help! Such as:

Check out how HUGE that wall is. It goes from the dining room and into the living room and is just this gigantic expanse of wall. I need to do something with it. Thoughts? Help? Ideas? All suggestions are welcome! (As are suggestions with what to do with the dining room in general - you will notice I am at a bit of a loss). 

That space on top of the fridge - what can I put up there? Right now it is just...junk/nothing special; cereal, garlic, some random stuff. I want to use that space. 

This is the wall that the dream built-in shelving would go. How gorgeous would that be, right? Need to evaluate a few things first (how long I am going to be here, how much it will be, etc.)

Right! So I moved my bed under the skylight (it had been under the light fixture on that wall before) and now there is SO MUCH ROOM! Like, to the point that I have no idea what to do with it all. So get a rug, a nice chair (rocking chair?!) and some shelving/a table and have a little reading space. 

One of the closets that needs something to happen in it. Ideas? 

Seriously - help! Please! 

Crafty Crafterson

This blog post will be coming to you in two parts.

Part One:

QUILT!

Well, I mostly already talked about this in my past post but there is more to say on the subject. First, my mom actually read my blog! Rejoice! I have managed to bully my own mother into taking interest in my life! Anyway, she thought the quilt idea was great and assured me that Santa would make the sewing machine happen in a couple months. I'm excited. She also agreed that my latest idea is a fun/good one: A Quilting Circle!

I don't know if there is anyone else in Toronto who wants to discover the lost art of sitting around a room with other ladies, sewing and drinking tea, but I think that sounds like a delightful afternoon, personally. So I'm going to try to get a quilting circle together. If anyone is interested please email me (carriemacmillanATgmailDOTcom).

A few details:

• You don't need a sewing machine to participate. 
• We would all bring materials to work on for each session - you could be cutting material, basting sections together, sewing details, or attaching larger pieces with my (soon to be) sewing machine. 
• It really is more of a social gathering than anything and so anyone who is remotely interested is more than welcome. 
• Adorable food and drink will be served 

Part Two: 

How much longer should I make this? 

It doesn't seem quite long enough, although it can do this:

Thoughts?

DONE!

2. Do 1 month COMPLETELY vegan

Vegan Month - Reflection

I only have a few hours left in my vegan month. It seems like the perfect time to reflect a little about what I have learned these past 31 days about my diet, relationship with food, and veganism. To start, a few lighter points:

• adding lots of Earth Balance margarine to anything will make it more delicious. When in doubt, add this/more of it. 
• Vegan month quickly became "eat as many cakes/desserts/treats as you want because, hey, it's vegan! It's gotta be good for you!" I have no regrets. 
• Vegan baking really isn't hard. No eggs - no problem. Egg replacer works great or you can just find recipes that don't have eggs in them at all. 
• The vegan substitutes like mayo, cheese, milk, etc. do take getting used to, but they aren't bad! I really wasn't into the Daiya cheese when I first tried it, but by the end I was putting it in a lot of stuff. Even on the pizza it started to grow on me. So give them a chance, meaning try them over and over again to let yourself adjust before deciding if you like them or not. 
• Peanut Butter Nanaimo bars. *drool*

Overall, the month was great. It really wasn't something that I had to "get through" and really was something that legitimately enjoyed. Of course it was hard sometimes. Mostly when I was out and hungry and had to go that extra step to find something that I could eat, but in the end that was probably for the best. It made me PLAN my meals so that in the end I was eating FAR healthier than I was before. I really liked that this month got me back into the kitchen even more and trying things outside of my comfort zone. 

I was really impressed with all the options I had. most restaurants could put something together for me (within reason - I was selective to begin with though). There were lots of GREAT substitutes too - from coconut or soy milk "yogurt" and ice "cream" to the cheese products. My landlords even gave me a spice to simulate egg flavour in tofu scramble (which I haven't tried to make yet, but I tried the spice and it was CRAZY how similar it was). 

I think what struck me the most was how I really didn't feel deprived of anything. There were lots of things I could eat. If anything, having to read ingredients and think out meals was a really positive thing, not at all something that frustrated me. I care about what is in my food and I liked taking that extra step to find out what was in it. 

Was there any cheating? Nope! I think there may have been one or two ACCIDENTAL incidents (one where a sales person told me something was vegan, I ate it, and then when I went to get it another day a different sales person said it wasn't vegan. The other was me mindlessly licking yogurt off my finger at work - oops). 

Will I stick with it? 100% every day? I don't think so. But I definitely will choose to eat vegan whenever possible. Most dairy-free subtitutes are here to stay: nutritional yeast instead of cheap-ass cheese in foods (lasagna, burritos, etc), coconut or soy milk "yogurt" and ice "cream", almond milk, etc. 

Cheese - yes, they will be introduced back into my diet, but as something that is featured, not thrown in. If I am going to eat cheese I am going to eat GOOD cheese and I am going to ENJOY it. Blue cheese, goat's mil cheese, artisan cheeses that are all rennet-free: these are what I want. Cracker Barrel - peace out. 

Eggs - yes, but again in moderation and as a featured food, not an ingredient. I know now that baking is easy without eggs so why waste them in baked goods? I would much rather have them scrambled, poached, or prepared in a way that I actually get to taste and enjoy them. And yes - I will be going back to my egg lady :)

That's it! Tomorrow I get to cross off my first, FULLY COMPLETED goal! 

Weekend!

Hey everyone! I am going to take the weekend off from blogging here, but don't worry - there is lots of blog-worthy things in the works. A few teasers...

• My first two furniture makeover projects - I bought paint, paper, and new hardware so I'm going to see what I can do. I will do my best to take pictures throughout, but this is less a "how to" and more a "can I?" kind of thing. 
• Nerd alert! I'm cataloguing my library. Yes, I'm going to write about it. 
• Thanksgiving is this weekend and I'm cooking a vegan feast.
• I have something coming in the mail to tell you about...
• Two things coming in the mail actually! Exciting!
• I made something this weekend. I'll be blogging about it tonight at my other blog. Check it out out. 

Thanks all. My weekend will be spent writing, reading, painting, and watching Freaks and Geeks on Netflix, because I love Jason Segel. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

And Update on Updates

I'm having a craptastic week (although my neck is totally better! Yay hot water bottle!) Nothing big, but just one of those days where everything things to seem a million times worse that it probably is. In my experience, it is best to wave bye-bye to Tuesday, go to sleep, and start Wednesday with a fresh outlook.

But before I do that, three things:

1. I'm reading Inside and guys...it is SO. GOOD. I almost don't want to share my second copy with you but I realize that having two of the same book won't allow me to enjoy it twice as much, so I will still give one away. But it is that good; greed-inducing great literature. 
2. I'm reducing updates on here to Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The thinking being that my "running" days are Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays so I will update during that half hour in the morning that I would otherwise be spending outside. Book blog will get all my my Saturday and evening attention. 
3. Medical intervention is official on the running. But we are going to re-evaluate in the new year and go from there. That will still give me 9 months to get to the 5k, which I think is totally doable. And not risking my health is pretty cool too I guess. So while I can't go running, I am cleared for light exercise like Yoga, so for now my morning "run" is going to be 30mins of yoga.   I can live with this. 

That is all. Now if you'll excuse me, Imma make my lunch for tomorrow, measure out the coffee and set the timer, and then going the #%* to bed. 

Blogger Fail / September Wrap up

Yeees, I have been neglectful. What can I say? Real life got in the way. Real life like work, school, more work, errands, and work (again).

Things are trucking along though. For those of you reading this via Facebook, you are likely aware of my nutty electric shock injury (gas stove ignitor got me and messed up some muscles in my neck. It hurts. I slept for 15 hours last night). That has been a real bummer. I made a trip to Ikea yesterday to puck up some "make my apartment a home" stuff and had to leave in a hurry because I was in so much pain. Even now, almost 48 hours after the initial injury, I am hurtin' - my head is in a permanent tilt to the left, which sucks but makes me seem like a more caring, sympathetic person I think :) Before you tell me to go to the doctor, I am going to. Tomorrow.

Right - to the wrap up:

1. Running has been put on hold. I REALLY want to start again in October but between my doctor telling me to pull back and now not being able to turn my head, I may have to be a little patient on this. 
2. Vegan month starts TOMORROW!!!! I have done a bunch of research, have some recipes in waiting, and I've pretty much indulged all my dairy loves over the past week, so I'm ready to go! Expect to see a lot of pictures of food over the next month. The highlight? Cooking my own completely vegan Thanksgiving dinner next weekend. Gulp!
3. Quit my Job - not yet. Apps and skill development in progress. 
4. No drinking - not a problem. (side note: the Bookstravaganza event I went to earlier this month was open bar - OPEN BAR! That one kind of stung) 
5. Knitting - it is really coming along! Slowly, but surely. Check out my scarf progress (at bottom)
6. Make a quilt - still trying to find a sewing machine. I think Santa may bring one for me...
7. Volunteer - putting this one off until later in the year. 
8. Apartment decoration - doing okay. Got shelves (still need to be painted) and have worked on my work area a lot (photos below). I really want to tackle the kitchen organization next and then once my sewing machine and I meet, there will be a lot of textile work. 
9. Yard Sale - in spring
10. Vancouver - no progress
11. Print 20 photos per month - On my way to print these today! I'll post a photo of the photos later. The thing that I learned this month about this one is that if I want to print photos of things, I need to TAKE photos of things. So events like dinners with friends, markets, outdoor festivals, etc - take pictures of things that I will want to keep. 
12. Dinner Party - scheduled for later in the year
13. Chicago - planned for later
14. Surprise Party - I can't write about that anymore...
15. Cards for B-days/Anniversaries - Yeah. I sucked up this one this month. Going to make a point of getting on top of October. 
16. Mail a letter - sending it today!
17. Get a Dog - Need to think of something new for this one...
18. Go to Dentist - scheduled for later
19. Retirement Fund - totally forgot about this one. Shit.
20. Book/movie/album recommendations from family - they are slowly coming in! I'm excited to get started
21. Journaling - I may amend this one to journaling specific days. Maintaining this blog daily as well as trying to work on my other one is a big time commitment. So I may need to cut back on this one and focus more on the book blog. Don't worry, you will you still get to hear all about this exciting stuff (</sarcasm>) 
22. Rock Climbing - I have that scheduled for a particular month. I can't remember which one or find my yearly schedule...I should get on that. 
23. Birthday date - check!
24. Poetry reading/book event/concert  - went to Bookstravaganza all myself! 
25. ass-kicking glass - scheduled
26. Call my sisters - going really well. It is hard to schedule with them but we are talking a lot more. 
27. Beginners art class - I found a book binding workshop yesterday! So I am going to do that, but I also want to find an actually weekly class that runs for awhile. 
28. Boston - scheduled
29. Credit Card - app sent in. Waiting. 
30. Museum memberships - going to get these in October

So there you go! I think I'm doing pretty well, all things considering. 

Now enjoy some photos...

Desk-area is coming together slowly; I have too many lots of really great books to read this month; My scarf so far

My younger sister will be the recipient of the first of my hand-written letters. I hope she likes it!  

On a lighter note, my favourite pub has LOTS of vegan options including the best veggie bacon ever. Ever.  

Rain = blah

So my run got rained out this morning. Boo. Yes - I'm actually disappointed. Weird, right? Before you start judging me for not sucking it up and running in the rain, let me just say that it was raining a lot. And I don't own a raincoat/anything that is waterproof. So I think in the interest of not getting sick I did the right thing. I'll go tonight or tomorrow morning - no biggie. I figure a Sunday-Tuesday-Thursday schedule works best for me but I am flexible and will adjust where need be. How often do others run?

On the fun end of the life-spectrum, I am going to Bookstravaganza tonight at the Ritz Carlton here in Toronto. It is a little party thrown by Random House Canada and Chatelaine Magazine to highlight some of the fall releases. It should be fun! I am looking forward to meeting in person of the people in Canadian publishing that I have thus far only dealt with online. The only complicated part is that I didn't find out that I had a ticket until I was already at work this morning, which means I will have to go home at 5pm, change, go to an appointment in fancier attire than normal until 7:30 and then scoot down to the party an hour late, hopefully arriving at 8pm. Living in a big city is fun but sometimes the time/effort to takes to go places really just sucks the fun out of them. In any case - I'm excited to be going! Photos and comments will be coming your way! 

Applying for a slew of jobs during my "break" today. All the fingers should be crossed for me. All of them. 

Thoughts on Running

I was talking to a friend last night and we started talking about my running project. I should stop and say that while I love all the encouragement that people have offered regarding the running I do feel just a little silly accepting it. It has only been a few times that I've gone and it doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment (yet). But the encouragement does help a lot, so thank you :) Anyway, so we were talking about the running and how it was going and I told her that I had been avoiding the outdoor track near my house because it was always being used by "real" runners. I had realized that I was a little scared to be seen running. It wasn't because I was embarrassed by the lack of finesse my run would display; I am clearly not a "real" runner. But I feel about the act of running the same what I felt about speaking Mandarin when I lived in China: people need only take one look at me and they will know I have NO idea what I'm doing. It takes away a lot of the intimidation factor when the pressure to do well is eliminated from the get-go. So if I wasn't afraid of being (rightfully) pegged as a newbie, what was causing me all of the this anxiety? Running Culture and my being decisively on the outside of it.

What I mean by "running culture" is all of the stuff that people who run seem to know: what to wear, when to wear it, and what it is worn for; how to plan a route and what my route should include and why; which shoes to wear for different terrains and based on my physical needs. Also running culture encompasses the answers to all these questions I never knew I would have: what do I do with my house keys while out for a run? Those in the know certainly had this figured out and my having my keys jingling at my side felt more embarrassing than gasping for breath after 2 minutes of light jogging.

I'll admit it - not having the "stuff" has made me feel like an outsider too. Not that anyone has said anything to me at all, but in my head I judge myself for not having the outfits and the iPhone holder and all the fancy things that "real" runners use. But this is one thing that I am actively trying to avoid - buying the "stuff." The reasoning is that I am not doing this to become part of a club. I am not looking to be identified as a "real" runner. I just want to get my runs over with and (hopefully) enjoy the physical and mental perks of some good exercise. I don't want to change who I am into a runner, but rather I want to adopt running into my current life. So I have decided for this reason (as well as because I am trying to save money so I can quit my job) to only buy what I need. For now, that is shoes, a couple pairs of exercise pants, and a couple sports bras. My keys can jingle in those pockets for now.

I can be crafty?

Well, I can give it a solid attempt. I was out running errands today (more on that in a second) and I saw these pretty red labels. I needed wanted to label the mason jars I had moved my dry goods into and I have been itching to break out the stamps that I bought in Philly. Overall I am really pleased! Not complicated project at all and now my jars look so pretty.

The errands were in an attempt to check things off that list I posted yesterday. Work was a no-go so I did laundry, and picked up some stuff I needed for the house (future project is in the works). I went to Home Depot for paint, and then foolishly realized that before I picked a paint I needed to pick a paper for the back of the bookshelves. So now I have to figure out where on earth to get wallpaper that won't cost a fortune.

The run this morning got pushed back to this evening (give me a break - I get up at 6am all week. I wanted to sleep in).

Now: nap time and then some cleaning.


**side note - how cute is that curtain? I picked it up for $6.99 at Value Village yesterday.

My ambitious plan for the weekend

The weekend plan is ambitious not only in the volume of tasks I am going to tackle, but what some of those tasks are. There is the list, it should speak for itself:*

1. Interview Friday after work for another p/t job
2. Pick up eggs Friday after interview
3. Spend my night washing down my kitchen and all my floors (the original plan was to go out for a birthday dinner with my friends, but none of them seem to be available. Take out and cleaning it is!)
4. Run Saturday morning (Ughghghghghghghghguyuugyhushdghsdlkjghsldfg goodie)
5. Brunch! Something fun! Yay! No one could make it. Boo.
6. Either:
1. work all afternoon
2. go get primer, paint, and wall paper to turn my ugly new bookshelves into something that looks pretty (see below)
7. DO LAUNDRY OTHERWISE I WILL BE A DIRT BAG! (side note: I don't have laundry in my home and this has never really been an issue. I mean I would definitely prefer to have laundry here, but I kinda like the laudromat, so it's all good. Or was. Enter running, aka: Let's wear something for only 30 mins that is gonna get gross and sweaty. This means that every day that I run, I wear THREE outfits - sometimes four! Running Outfit (1), Work Outfit (2), Potential change of shirt and/or pants for school so I don't have baby snot/sweat/food/dirt on myself in public Outfit (3), PJs (4). This is, in a word, foolish.) 
8. Get home and do homework/write/read (fun Saturday night or what?!)
9. Make chili Sunday morning
10. Meeting with Internship-supervisor
11. Knitting and tea! Something fun! Yay! 
12. Get primer, paint and wallpaper if I had to work on Saturday and couldn't do it then. 
13. Homework/write/read
14. Two job applications

Some of those are gonna be fun (yay brunch and knitting and writing and all that!) but some of them are gonna be HARD. 

Namely, the bookshelves. I just don't have any design sense. I  know what I like and I know what kind of feel I want in my home, but I am not good and bringing things together to create a cohesive "feel" for a space. So I have no idea if these bookshelves are gonna be great or look silly, but I am moving ahead with them all the same. I spent $20 on them so I want to keep the makeover cheap too. I really have been digging the look of wallpapered bookshelves like this one. I just don't know how it will look in the space, and if it will be too much to have two of them wall papered, and how bold a paper I should use, and so on and so on. But we will see! I figure they can't look any worse...









*Disclaimer - this isn't an "I'm so busy and important and everyone else sucks" list. It is an "If I don't write all these things down now Imma forget something and feel like a moron" list. 

Vegan-izing (Not a Lecture! I promise!)

I was speaking to someone about the vegan project I'm embarking on next month and it got me excited to write about it here.

I was asked what motivated me to make try out veganism after 16 years of sitting comfortably in my state of  vegetarianism. It does seem odd, to me anyway, that I would decide to eliminate one animal product from my diet but not any others. Why the divide? What was the difference?

To answer this question I first need to tell a little story about how I became a vegetarian in the first place. If you did the math right, you figured out that I was 13 when I made this lifestyle choice. To say I "made a lifestyle choice" would be a pretty impressive stretch. I was 13. I didn't make lifestyle choices. I am more than willing to admit that at that age I enthusiastically followed trends. I liked what my friends liked and what my demi-god older sister liked (though I would never admit this at the time). So when my friends all decided to declare that they were VEGETARIANS!!! I was more than happy to say "me too!"

So as you can imagine I didn't stop to think about why I should or shouldn't be a vegetarian in that moment, I just did it. I stopped eating meat. I kept at it after the near-immediate realization my mother hated it; I was at the time close to 5 10" and barely 100 pounds soaking wet, the last thing she wanted was for me to stop eating anything. But it stuck.

Since then I have obviously found many reasons to choose this lifestyle - one doesn't stick with something for 16 years just to piss their mom off (at least I don't...I love my mom!) I have since learned a lot about how meat is produced and many of the environmental, social, ethical, and health impacts that this production can have. It has become clear to me that meat is something that I am simply not comfortable eating.

I often get defensive when talking to meat-eaters about my choices when they claim they could never give up meat because "it tastes so good" or they would "miss it too much." I feel like the pleasure of a food shouldn't nullify the negative impacts of its production. And 99% of the time I don't feel deprived of anything by not eating meat. It doesn't have to be about not eating something and can easily be reframed as just eating different things. And I have maintained for a long time that you don't have to give up meat; reducing consumption can drastically impact the many of the negative impacts of meat production, as well as increase your over all level of health. It doesn't have to be hard!

The problem is that dairy and egg production is just as bad. And slowly, in the past 5 years or so, I have moved towards a more vegan diet. Milk was the first to go, and my consumption of dairy in general dropped dramatically - yogurt, cheese, ice cream, etc. Once you let your body show you just how lactose intolerant it really is, you very quickly learn to watch what you eat. More recently eggs have been what I have been hung up on, until I found Eggy Weggs which brings local, happily-raised chicken-laid eggs to my neighbourhood. But still, this move to veganism feels natural in a lot of ways.

The ironic part is that those meat-eater arguments up there are the exact thoughts that have kept me from really giving veganism an honest attempt. Give up goat cheese?! Blue cheese?! But where will I eat? How will I bake? It is going to be such an inconvenience! Etc. etc.

So I just decided to do it. To put my mouth where my...mouth is? That's not right, but you get the point. And I don't know what the end result will be. I may decide to go back to buying my hippy eggs and eating cheese, I may not. But I do think that I owe it to myself to see what my vegan life would look like and what kind of changes it brings about. So am I bummed about giving up goat cheese for a month? Totally. Will it suck? Not at all. I am excited for the challenges of what is sure to be a fun and eye-opening experiment.

Sorry Sorry Sorry

Fail. I didn't post yesterday. Reason: I left my computer at work. I did journal though, kinda. I spent my break at work writing an article for the blog-tour I'm organizing to be guest-blogged on one of the participating blogs. Check it out at jennsbookshelves.com

The other thing I did yesterday: run at 6:30am. I wish I could sit here and tell you how great it felt, but I can't. It sucked. It hurt. It wasn't that I was tired or out of breath, my muscles just refused to lift my legs for me. But I did it and today is a rest day and while I'm still sore, I'm not feeling too bad! So that is encouraging. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm looking forward to running again tomorrow, but I'm not completely dreading it...that's something, right?

I also interviewed for a part-time childcare gig last night (extra money = can live while I do an unpaid internship in the future) and bought book shelves, finally. So it was a productive day! The shelves I don't think will be permanent, but they were $10 each and hold my books, so in they went. I'm going to wallpaper the inside of them to fancy them up a bit, until I can figure out my home office and the floating shelf situation.

Oh! I found this the other day on my run. I am thinking of washing it down, painting it up and making some kind of mail-holding situation. Thoughts?

This is so uninteresting. Sorry.

Class starts tonight - which is pretty exciting for me. I missed being in school, and these two classes are the two that I've most been looking forward to. So a long day for me (7:30-5 work and 6:30-9:30 class, blah) but it will be a good one!

I'll leave things there.